Life is a series of ruptures and repair according to Peter Levine, a biophysicist and psychologist, whose life's work was devoted to studying trauma, its effects on the nervous system, and the way a "thinking" society has dulled our innate physical wisdom.
This year I've invested a good deal of time and money towards learning about the nervous system because it is solely responsible for shaping our perception of reality. Everything we pick up through our senses and in our environment lays the groundwork for how we interact with the world. We are also hugely influenced by the genetic memory in our DNA which leads to an entirely separate discussion.
In a nutshell, "trauma represents animal instincts gone awry," writes Levine in his book Waking the Tiger. To stay healthy "our nervous systems and psyches need to face challenges and to succeed in meeting those challenges." This is such a refreshing approach to those of us who have been taught to repress, deny, or avoid conflict or intensity. The way out is IN. But we first have to build a strong sense of physical presence and learn to trust our intuition. .
The Sun moved into Libra on the Autumn Equinox and this week's astrology presents us with opportunities to step up to the challenges in our relationships- with each other, our selves, and our money- all the Venus ruled areas of life. If trauma means being stuck, immobilized or frozen then repair is movement, fluidity and thawing out. May the warmth of the Libra sun be in your favor.
Feeling stretched in different directions, unable to focus or get adequate rest, weighed down by a system intent on self destruction by forcing a never ending grind. These are all symptoms of adrenal fatigue, one of the main causes of hormonal imbalance in women, and at the root of so many health issues.
As a healer, I recognize a collective need for restorative re-balancing. A lot of us are suffering from heart heaviness right now, as the planet undergoes a massive healing crisis. Inundated with information, our nervous systems are overwhelmed. This is a wake up call... it's where Virgo's message comes in to create paths to security and health. To practice the physical embodiment of compassion, beginning with self.
This week's astrology provides the perfect opportunity to set new routines in motion that promote sustainable wellbeing. Self care isn't just about getting basic needs met, although that's were some of us have to start. It's about making decisions from a place of self parenting and emotional sobriety. So if you need permission to take better care of yourself then here it is. The world needs you whole and integrated.
Virgo Season Self-care
practice setting & respecting boundaries
release suppressed emotions
affirm positive beliefs about self
embrace social support / ask for help
daily spiritual connection
Like building a fire, we have to be present with our magic. We have to stoke it and stay patient until coals form and it's strong enough to withstand a little wind and turbulence.
Some of us fall into old habits of self-sabotage by sharing our magic with overly critical people, many of whom are magically wounded themselves. We wait for approval, compare ourselves unfairly... the search for legitimacy is endless.
This unconscious masochism is an attempt to keep ourselves small because at some point we were told that our magic wasn’t good enough… that it was too big, too loud, too colorful, too gay, too emotional, too angry, too sexual, too sensitive, or just too TOO as a friend used to say.
The world needs you and your magic; not a watered down version but a blaze. Stoke the flame by surrounding yourself with allies and champions of your magical self worth. Avoid naysayers and crazy makers. Keep your magic close until it’s ready.
LUNAR ECLIPSE 24° Capricorn
For a long time, I used my smallness to feel like I was making a difference in a world obsessed with ego gratification. I wanted no part of that, and so I carved an identity out of what I thought was humility and rebellion.
Today I know humility isn't staying small but using bigness as a change agent. Nothing wrong with wanting better for yourself, especially if it frees you up to do better things in the world, to show up more generously, and share without fear of lack. I write a lot about scarcity because it's been a driving factor in my life, and I see it driving every dysfunctional system around me. .
It's almost impossible to change a system as old and ingrained as scarcity with mere thinking. Most likely we inherited our beliefs early on and keep them around to feel safe. When we do little things to stay small we assure our survival brain that we're okay. Breaking the pattern of scarcity can bring on discomfort, depression, panic because it's a huge disruption. .
To change a pattern we have to change our actions, one step at a time. Those of us in recovery know this. We didn't get sober by thinking our addictions away. We had to implement an entirely new way of doing life and adopt a new language for it. We had to create a sub-culture where new behavior could thrive and feel accepted. And over time, we experienced a psychic change as the result and then shared our success with others, with no fear of losing what we had because we realized there was enough. We found abundance.
In awakening to our Godselves- the true nature of who we are- we heal the world. Not through egoism, but in acts of self charity and beyond. Sharing resources, support, stories, and recovery... this is how we make a difference.
SOLAR ECLIPSE 10° CANCER
Cancer evokes primitive memory, touching on our truest origin, our most essential nature, our oldest wisdom, our greatest yearning. This eclipse opens the deep well of remembrance around HOME & BELONGING- the feelings, smells, tastes, and sounds of our earliest attachments and those of our ancestors.
We project the ways we learned to love and be loved. Our familial codes, and our experience of security (or lack thereof) seep into our relationships, social contracts and laws. This eclipse can bring profound enlightenment around matters of belonging. It can also magnify where we have yet to accept those rejected or orphaned parts of ourselves and where our boundaries have been violated.
Love is the grand intelligence here, holding the power to heal and restore any wounding from the womb out. But it isn't without challenge. The archetype of the refugee is in the collective forefront right now for a reason. Honor what is dear to you on this darkest night, and consider how both boundaries and inclusivity have a place in the order of things.
Three summers ago I was on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills, walking into a gold mirrored building while the sales clerk eyed me with a combination of suspicion and contempt. One look at my shoes, and the jig was up- we both knew I wasn't there to shop. And even if I had pulled out a card and purchased something, it would have been small- a trinket at best- as a girl like me is too practical to spend my rent on a handbag.
Over the course of the week, there were a lot of moments when my lack of status and wealth seemed to stand out, and I had to talk myself off some steep egoic ledges. By the end of the trip I was SO ready to be back home, in the other LA. On that trip I remember feeling most happy sitting on the beach eating fish tacos with a friend. Those tacos were $3 a piece, and there was no special sauce or fancy artisan anything. Just an honest taco. The ocean was in front of me, and in that moment I knew I was winning at life.
If I can love a taco for what it is then I can be loved as my most honest, realest self. And so can you. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have aspirations or dreams, it just means you're already a raging success because you're YOU.
I've tried it all- trading in one identity for another, going from one job to the next, falling in and out of love, geographic solutions, and the quick fixes that don't actually fix- drugs, denial, distraction.
There is a phrase in the Mardi Gras Indian culture that has always called to me. The big chief sings it before going into mock battle with other tribes on the streets of New Orleans. Made cu defio...
It means into the wilderness.
For me it signaled going in, facing my fears and and the things I'd been denying (because those things have a way of catching up anyway). It meant accepting my past and all the disowned parts of myself. Seeing how my trials gave me the spiritual path I now walk and the wisdom I now share.
Knowing that our depth of character and maturity comes from the integration of our experiences is part of this year's Pluto, Saturn, and South Node conjunction.
The health and prosperity of every organism is based on the functioning communication and homeostasis of cells. At at a macro level, our society operates like any other organism and we are the cells of this planetary body.
Imagine you've been given a diagnosis and informed of how critical it is to make changes. That's basically what's happening with Uranus' transit through Taurus in the next 7 years. Taurus rules our physical body, our environment, and our agriculture. It also rules currency and what we place value on (Venus rules Taurus). The shadow of Taurus is greed, scarcity, and an inflexible attitude towards change. Uranus is a change agent. Wherever it travels, expect disruption of the status quo.
By changing our thoughts and behaviors around environmental stewardship, physical mindfulness, and how we value life on this planet, we are part of the healing process. A harmonious human "flora" can withstand the turbulence of deep sea change. The irreversible, necessary and cleansing change that is cresting now.
Today begins the year of Jî Hài, the yin earth pig. If you were born in 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, or 2007 then this is your year. Whatever the focus was in 2007 is where you can expect growth and maturity. It's also worth mentioning that this cycle coincides perfectly with Jupiter's transit through Sagittarius.
Yin pigs are nurturing and resourceful with a knack for helping people grow into their fullest potential. They intuitively understand the value of a thorough process and are known for their slow, steady patience. Jupiter is the planet of expansion and opportunity. This can either create success or excess depending on how consciously we work with the energy.
Codependency is the shadow of the Helper. When we exalt others before ourselves, we create an inner imbalance and disharmony. If you're a yin pig this might be the year you allow others to help nurture your growth, as yin pigs tend to take a back seat in situations that trigger an unconscious fear of success.
This year, the challenge for pig year folks is to become more assertive and embodied. Also, making sustainable investments in personal growth is key to any success. We can't expect to handle power and money responsibly without first establishing an underlying sense of self value and worth. So do you, lil pig. Just. do. you. 🐖
Someone asked what I was looking forward to in 2019, and it totally threw me off. I'm used to being asked what my goals and intentions are, but I've been trained to think that expectations are a loser's gold. "Looking forward to" implies a confidence that things will go as planned. I recently realized that in avoiding expectation, I had also robbed myself of joyful anticipation.
Without anticipation we miss something important- I'm gonna call it the juicy middle. It's a spiritual place, teaching us to cultivate vulnerability. It opens doors for what you didn't consider possible. It let's something else in, whether you call it God, Higher Power, Universe, or Spirit. It's an openness and a humility that is grounded in surrender.
Letting go of old disappointments and opening to that exciting possibility, aka the juicy middle, feels like a risk to my survival brain. And that's it... shifting from surviving to thriving is what I'm most looking forward to 2019.
This blog is unpaid and ad free. Your readership means the world, but if you would like to support my work in a more substantial way you can donate anytime with Paypal or Venmo me @Isabelle_LaFleur